life as it is

ever since stepping back into motherland, I can't say I had a hard time adapting but it wasn't a breeze either. I think it's because my mind just doesn't want to accept the fact that the good times are over and what is to come next will be the disappearance of my freedom

And with so many things weighing on my mind recently, I don't really know how to handle my thoughts and I have the constant feel to get drunk so as to get everything off my mind for a little bit. and by drunk I mean crazily high and not pass-out drunk. because I have learnt from my western friends that high = on drugs so I'm not associating with that. Although this may make me sound like I'm some alcoholic but I have not gotten drunk since I'm back. maybe just once. Then reality will hit me like a brick again once I have sobered up

Why r decisions so hard to make >:-(

discussing it out with friends doesn't make it any easier because our opinions and mindsets differ and I'm not going to go about saying, "but you don't/won't understand" because I absolutely hate it when that gets shoved into my face.

adulthood is tough